P.S. I was asked to contribute an article about my solo outdoor adventures and how I enjoy being alone. You can read this article online, or below.
As I walk away from my car in the Scottish Highlands to begin the long climb up a mountain, I’m struck by the feeling of loneliness. I am not afraid or anxious, but I am surprised by my sudden loneliness.
Since I last hiked alone, it has been a long time. I forgot how peaceful and calming the experience is.
After a brief moment of wondering what I would think about, a series of thoughts began to pop into my head.
I reflect on recent challenges in both my professional and personal life and consider new goals and plans.
I look at the surrounding landscape and take in the ruggedness and beauty of the mountains and moorland, along with a beautiful grove of Scots Pine trees and the gurgling mountain stream.
I didn’t realise it until I left this morning how much I wanted to be alone.
Although I enjoy going on adventures with my husband and friends, I also love to go solo. This is when I am able to focus on me and enjoy the relaxing effects of being in nature.
The benefits of “me time”
According to Dr Laura Williams a clinical psychologist near Edinburgh, “me time” means much more than a glossy magazine slogan.
She says, “Most people are extremely busy trying to balance the demands of work, home and family life. It can seem like there’s very little time to relax.
“This is why many people complain of being mentally tired, stressed, and overwhelmed. It can be difficult to stay motivated.
For too many people, we only think about making changes when we’ve reached a breaking point.
This mental exhaustion can affect our resilience. Dr Williams, director of her psychology practice, says: “When we face challenges, it can be hard to cope if we are mentally exhausted, anxious, or stressed.”
It’s hard to imagine how we can find the time for ourselves when our lives are so busy.
Williams, a mother of five children in a blended family herself, says, “Many people have told me that they find it difficult to find time or energy for solo activities. Women are particularly affected by this.
“Despite the fact that we live in a world with a more balanced gender balance, women are still taught to put other people first. This includes their partners, children, or colleagues. This might sound like stereotyping, but many women tell me that they can’t find time to themselves due to the busyness of their lives. Women are at the end of the line for time-out.
“I confess, that despite what I know, this is also true for my family life.
I find it difficult to spend time alone for meaningful activities.
The psychological rewards of being alone
There are many psychological benefits to spending time alone. Dr Williams says: “The benefits to doing something on your own, focusing on yourself alone, are many.”
“Solo-time without distractions from other people or their demands, chores and lists of things to do lets us mentally reset.
This, in turn gives us the mental energy to re-energize ourselves. This usually results in us returning to normal life with less stress, more motivation, and increased kindness, patience, and resilience.
Dr Williams says that for some people a daily relaxation exercise such as listening to soothing music or meditation can be sufficient alone time. However, more time spent “going solo” will usually produce better results.
She says that short but frequent bursts alone time are fine, as long as we do something to calm and reset our thoughts. The longer the activity, the greater the chance of recharging your mind.
We can recharge by treating ourselves to a hobby we enjoy, taking a walk, a bike ride or going on a vacation.
It reminds me of my capabilities
Solo time can also give women a sense of empowerment.
It reminds me of my capabilities when I go on a run, bike ride or walk up a mountain by myself.
When I was younger I always followed in the footsteps (often of men) but now I have the confidence to choose my own adventures. I’ve learned how to plan carefully, navigate safely and have a good sense of self-esteem.
I have travelled alone in the UK, and abroad on several occasions. Last month, I went wild camping for the first time.
Dr Williams says that stepping out of your comfort zone and challenging yourself can have a positive impact on mental health.
She says, “It does not matter what you do alone as long as it is for yourself.”
Feeling capable and in charge of your time or chosen activity brings a feeling of accomplishment.
This is a good thing because it increases confidence and mental strength. “Feeling empowered can help us cope with the daily stresses of life.”